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Herbert P. Bear/Quotes
Operation: Blackout *Too Late... *Boom! *(grunts) OH... NOOOOOO! *Enjoy it before I destroy it! *The weather forecast calls for eternal darkness. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! *You can't stop me! *Sometimes I sit and wait for you fools to take the bait. Prepare now to face your fate. Can't stop me... you're much too late. *Club Herbert is very original. And more importantly, it is mine. *Time to concentrate on my plans. My solar laser is coming along excellently, if I do say so myself... *Blowing up the PSA headquarters with a popcorn bomb. So simple, so satisfying. *Follow the nice little detonator! *That's nice. Now be quiet. *Go away! *I'm a vegetarian, you daft creature! *I will improve the island. You penguins will be free to leave, or stay and enjoy the silence. *Who is this Gariwald you speak of? Unless he has vegetarian recipes, or knows how to silence you penguins, I'm not interested. *Gary? I froze him! *No parties. Parties are far too noisy. *I usually sneak around these places. *Is it just me, or is it getting dark out? *I must be leaving now. *Now where's that log out button... *SHUSH! *GUARD THE ENTRANCES! *YES YOU MAY BOW TO ME. *You want a story? *Well, I AM a master storyteller. *Once upon a time there was a magnificent polar bear, who wanted to build a woodchopper, so that everyone could have a nice warm fire. *But along came a group of nasty agents. *But I escaped! *EVERYBODY OFF MY CHAIR! OR ELSE! *ROAAR!! *GOT THAT MINIONS? *Alright, quiet down. *Very well Klutzy! *MWA HA HA HA HA!! *Its GROSS *Did you understand the magnitude of what I just said? *Klutzy? He's back at base. *For now! *What's over there? *I've never SEEN the front of the Coffee Shop. *LETS DO THIS PLAY *I'm going this way *WHAT ARE YOU A BUNCH OF GHOSTS? *Greetings my subjects *Setting up here was a STROKE OF GENIUS. Spacious. Quiet. And that pump is perfect to keep this place dry. *Those Elite Penguin FOOLS will never find me! MWAHAHAHAHA! *Masterful idea to salvage the solar laser for my new plan. *KLUTZY! No pizza! We'll eat once I'm finished. *KLUTZY! NOOOOOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?! *AAAAAAAHH! Wait a second! What are you doing up there agent!?!!? NO! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! *You have not seen the last of me! Star Wars Takeover *BREATHES LOUDLY *(Breathing noise) *Greetings! *Attention! *Listen to me! *Greetings, rebel traitors! *Attention, rebel traitors! *Listen to me, rebel traitors! *I am Darth Herbert *Master of the Force *Servant of the Dark Side *Commander of the Empire's forces *Sworn enemy of the Alliance *Fearsome foe of friendliness *And all-around mean guy *I am here to be obeyed *If you wish to surrender now, that's fine *You will be defeated *But it will save us both time *And I can take a longer lunch *If you do not surrender... *...you will be defeated anyway *But I'll be angry you wasted my time *You want to hear some stories, do you? *Very well, I shall regale you *I was in a podrace once *I destroyed the other competitors *And I won *That's usually how I do business *I have fought many Lightsaber duels *I remember one with my old master *What was his name? *Anyway, I defeated him *He wasn't so great after all *I have used the Force for many things *To persuade people *To destroy people *But the best thing I ever used it for... *Wait, why should I tell you? *I should blast you into space! *Do not be so rash *Fools! *Do you doubt my power? *I will defeat you! *You are insignificant! *Who dares?! *Do you defy me? *Your power is nothing compared to mine! *I don't want to talk about that! *Never bring that up again! *(angry breathing noise) *Arrrrrgh! *Grrrrrr *None of your Jedi mind tricks! *I cannot be fooled *I was a Jedi once *But I was too powerful *That's why I left *I don't care what you've heard *Put away your Lightsaber! *I will not embarrass you... *...with defeat in front of your friends! *Put away those Lightsabers! *I could defeat you with a single thought *I could defeat you with a single snowball *For I am Darth Herbert *You Rebels think you can destroy the Death Star? *I will defeat YOU! *Then you won't be destroying anything! *If you reveal the Rebel spy to me... *...I will still defeat you all... *...But I will make it quick *Can you direct me to... *The Death Star bridge? *I have planets to conquer *The Death Star docking bay? *My ship's come in *The Death Star meeting room? *I'm late for my four o'clock *The Death Star elevator room? *It's the only way to get around this place *The Death Star trash compactor? *I have some Rebel garbage to take out *The Death Star tractor beam room? *Collecting shuttles is one of my hobbies *The Death Star detention block? *Those prisoners won't interrogate themselves *The Throne Room? *Big meeting with the boss *The Millennium Falcon? *I just have a little sabotage to do *My favorite animal is the Bantha *They are quite delicious! *But not very bright *What is my favorite place? *I like the Death Star's garbage compactor *When there are Rebel spies in it! *What is my favorite sport? *Hunting Rebel spies! *I don't like it to be too easy *So I give them a good head start *My hobbies are Lightsaber duels *Disciplining underlings with the Force *Flying my TIE fighter *Crushing the Rebellion *Defeating my old masters *Collecting space shuttles *I like to keep busy *My favorite possession? *I'm very fond of the Death Star *And my TIE Fighter *And my Lightsaber *Anything that destroys things, basically *My favorite color is dark *It is the color of my wardrobe *As well as my favorite side *I'm talking about the Dark Side *In case that wasn't clear *My favorite planet is Alderaan *I mean... WAS Alderaan *Heh heh *Are you a Rebel? *Will you join the Dark Side? *You want to join the Dark Side? *Good choice *Unfortunate decision *I find your lack of faith disturbing *Join the Dark Side *We have cake *and cookies *We have cooler outfits *The Dark Side will win *Farewell, fools! *Are you still here? *Is there any reason you're still here? *I have no further use for you *I have no further use for this conversation *This conversation is at an end *There is no further need for you to speak *I've gotten all I need from you *Thank you, that is all *Be gone! *I tire of the sight of you *Your presence bores me *Why are you still annoying me? *I'm off to crush the Rebellion *The Rebellion is not going to crush itself *I have a Death Star to activate *I have Jedi to defeat *Elite Penguin Force? *You mean Rebel Penguin Force? *Who is a crab called Klutzy? *Director at EPF? *You mean leader at rebel? *(Angry Breathing Noise) *Bah! *Any question about me? *Don't hack the computer or you will destroy dark side! *My hobbies are dueling lightsaber with rebel. *But I will win no one can beat my power! *Let's join dark side with me and rule the galaxy! *I never give up to destroy you fools! *Finally a penguin listens to me! *Thanks for the pizza Penguin. *NO HUGS! *NO SMILING! *The frown is OK. *NO HEARTS! Operation: Puffle *Well well well *Look who we have here *Greetings *Why hello there *Who goes there? *Oh *it's you *You again? *What do you want? *Look what the puffle dragged in *Allow me to introduce myself *I am Herbert P Bear Esquire *Formerly of the Arctic Circle *Professional villain *Certified genius *Ursus Maritimus *That means polar bear *Who are you? *THAT'S your name? *That's a silly name *Go away *So long fools! *Now *if you'll excuse me *I must be off *I must be leaving now *You penguins are strange *I'm outta here *Make like a tree *And LEAVE! *Shoo! *I don't have time for this *I'm a very busy genius *MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *What's that? *You have some questions *do you? *Very well *I shall grace you with my knowledge *I shall astound you with my brilliance *Ask away *My favorite animal? *My favorite animal is the polar bear *They are majestic geniuses *My favorite music is QUIET music *Which you penguins simply DO NOT HAVE *I also enjoy listening to Bearthooven *The famous polar bear composer *So beautiful *My favorite game? *The only games I play are MIND games *Which your puffles seem to enjoy *I also enjoy a game of solitaire *My favorite sport? *Hmmm *Is taking over the world a sport? *No? *Then I don't like sports *Next question *My favorite food? *I enjoy seaweed pizza the most *But you had better hold the anchovies *Or else I shall ensure your DOOOOM! *I hate meat *I'm a vegetarian *you daft creature! *Vegetables are far superior in taste and texture *They're also better for you *I cannot stress that enough *My hobbies are building ingenious devices *Plotting to take over the island *And dancing *Err I mean *I DON'T DANCE! *EVIL GENIUSES DON'T DANCE! *NO MORE QUESTIONS! *MWA HA HA! *Are you serious?! *There's no way! *You don't know what you're talking about *I disagree! *I'm an expert on this *You might have a point there *Well played *penguin *You are right *but I am also right *Because I'm never wrong *That would be impossible *FINE! *NO! *What are you saying? *Darth Herbert? *No I'm Herbert *Sounds like someone is using my name *That's understandable *since it is so awesome *He sounds like a smart bear *The Force? *I have all the force I need! *You want to be my friend?! *MWAHAHAHAHAA! *That's hilarious! *Oh man! *Stop stop stop! *No but seriously I don't do friendship *You are welcome to be my minion *Request to be a minion the same way *that you'd request friendship *YOU'RE WELCOME! *You can be on my minion list *For now *Minions! It is time to prove your loyalty *Pledge your support to the cause of *ME! *Show me the high paw emote! *MUHAHAHAHA! *Look at all of my minions *Excellent work minions *All those who didn't show the paw sign *You are welcome to go jump in the river *Indeed *Impossible! *You pesky penguins! *You have terrible spelling *Do you understand the magnitude of what I just said? *It was simple A bit of this *a bit of that *I'm a mastermind! *You're all dressed funny *That was a waste of time *Sigh *Groan *Growls *I forgot *What was your name again? *I despise puffles *But I finally found a use for them *If they were more like crabs I wouldn't mind them *Crabs are quiet *Crabs do what I command *Klutzy? *Hmm *yes he is *No he isn't *He is a loyal sidekick *Every genius needs a proper lackey *I suppose he's rather useful *He's a good one to have around *HAHAHA! *This one time he tried to make a salad *actually never mind *Klutzy is keeping my lair warm *Someone needs to put coins in the machine *And it's sure not going to be me! *Look lively *you puny penguins *I'm going this way *You may follow if you wish *Out of the way! *All loyal subjects may follow me *The rest of you STAY PUT! *Feel free to follow me *I'm going to the Boot Camp *I'm going to the Lava Cliffs *I'm going to the Puffle Vet *I'm going to the Ice Falls *I'm going to the Rapids *I'm going to the River Cave *I'm going to the Treehouses *This way *I suppose *Keep up! *Stop dragging your feet *Pick up the pace *penguins *I don't have all day *YOU! *I know you! *You're the Agent that's always fowling up my plans! *You're the agents that are always fowling up my plans! *GRR! *Stay out of my way! *Give up! There's no way you can defeat me! *Spare me your silly snowballs *Oh yeah! *TAKE THIS! *HA! *My snowballs are ten times greater than yours! *Thanks to my magnificent strength! *Good try *Agent *but better luck next time *Need I remind you *that not only am I more intelligent than you *but also much stronger? *but also smarter? *but also much more awesome? *but also faster? *but also taller? *but also umm *rounder? *more like a bear? *NEVERMIND! *Leave the snarky comments to me *You know the worst part about the *Extremely Pathetic Fools? *They can't help flashing their badges *They always show them off! *WHAT? *Are you all with the EPF? *Those badges can't stop me *and neither can you *BAH! *BLARGLE! *HEY! *STOP THAT! *WILL YOU STOP THAT! *KEEP THE SNOWBALLS TO YOURSELVES! *GAH! *OUCH! *EVERYONE FREEZE! *STAY BACK! *GRRRRR!!! *You pathetic penguins are starting to make me ANGRY! *You wouldn't like me when I'm angry! *SILENCE! *Enough of your shenanigans! *I just groomed my fur! *ROOOOOAAAARRRR!!!! *NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOO! *I HATE the river! *You penguins go rafting for fun? *That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of *I'm only staying out here because *I thought you'd never figure out boats *STOP SPLASHING! *Polar bears don't like getting wet! *Of course they don't! *crosses quickly *I don't want to stay on the river *I'm not scared! *I'm just busy *And all my business involves firm ground *Bring in the goods puffle! *I don't know how they find all those coins *but I love that they can do it *You penguins were just keeping them as pets? *What a waste! *Soon I'll have so many coins *I can keep my heater on all year *puffles! *Get in gear puffle! *Hey you! *Don't bring that little furball near me *or I'll put it to work! *Ugh you bring yours with you? *They're sofluffy *Yuck! *Set it free? *Set them free? *They're just getting started! *They're happy to work! *No really *that mind control makes them happy *It's pretty amazing *if I do say so myself *Not until I have enough coins! *checks on puffle *adjusts brain box *Gotta make sure this is nice and snug *I don't want anyone taking these off *I've noticed some puffles leaving the job *This is unacceptable! *All I want is *to use all of the island's puffles *to dig up a fortune in coins *have them deliver it to my secret base *and then have Klutzy put them into *my giant coin-operated heater *for the rest of my life *Is that so much to ask? *Loyal minions! *Let's get some more puffles *You there! *Give up your puffles *I always need more help *It's so hard to find good help *This is where puny penguins train? *What's the point? *I don't see anything here *that teaches you how to be a bear *With a training camp like this *it's no wonder none of you found my base *Now this place isn't too bad *I almost set up my base here *The lava would have kept me warm *and it does look appropriately awesome *But I said to myself *Herbert you're too unique to have a *base in a volcano *You're a smart and creative villain *You can do MORE *So I did! HAHA! *Minions! *If you're looking for a place to start *your career of villainy *these cliffs aren't bad *Though the EPF is sure to look here first *And you don't want them around *They are infuriating *Getting rid of them *Requires a lot of clever traps *And lots of hot sauce *Oh blargh! *This place makes me ill *All the caring and petting of puffles *Just embarrassing *And they make so much noise *Between toys *eating *playing *They never stay quiet! *You want to take care of your puffle? *I've got a better deal for you *Hand your puffle over and I'll make sure *that he never bothers you again *You don't like my deal? *Your loss *penguin! *Excellent! *Leave it by the Ice Falls *And I'll make sure he finds a good home *BRR! *I can barely hear myself think *over the sound of the falls *It's WAY too cold and WAY too loud here *I can't stand it! *You hear that EPF agents? *In case you are listening *I CAN'T STAND IT HERE! *Did you see the mountain over there? *Even the mountains look like puffles *It's just ridiculous *A polar bear mountain *would be so much greater *That gives me a wonderful idea *WHAAAA? *RAPIDS! *WHIRLPOOL! *This place is horrible! *AAAAAHHHHHH! *It's too fast! *I want off this ride! *I can't swim! *Plug the whirlpool! *Stop the river! *SAVE ME! *I'm getting out of here! *Save yourselves! *Lots of digging going on here *Some of my best hauls come *from these tunnels *I bet you penguins don't even know *where all these tunnels lead to *That's why it was so clever of me *to use them! *They're a great way to move coins *And not a bad place to hide a base *If you had one you wanted to hide *So you penguins stay in these? *They're so plain *There's no crazy machines *no crab servants *no comfy chairs *no in-floor heating *I don't know why you bother with them *Wave to the EPF cameras *Hey there EPF! *How does it feel being useless *while I'm all warm and safe? *Alright *quiet down *SHUSH! *Listen up! *You want a story? *Well *I AM a master storyteller *In addition to being a super genius *Very well! *Sit down and be quiet *Another story? *Thank you thank you *Feel free to applaud *NO BOOING! *WHAT ARE YOU A BUNCH OF GHOSTS?! *All of these stories are true! *YES THEY ARE! *THIS IS EXACTLY HOW THEY HAPPENED! *You wouldn't know a good story if it sneezed on you! *Story time is over! *Once upon a time there was a magnificent polar bear *Who was trying to build a wood chopper *So that everyone could have a nice warm fire *But along came a group of nasty agents *And they didn't want ANYONE to be warm *So they snuck up on the poor polar bear *And they mixed up the wood chopper's controls *causing it to sink into a lake! *The end *Once upon a time there was a Clothes Shop *And the Clothes Shop had a vault full of coins *But the vault was very dirty *and difficult to clean *There were coins everywhere! *So a friendly polar bear decided to help *He built a HUGE magnet to lift up all the coins *But a group of stinky agents came by *And they wanted everything to be stinky like them *So they wrecked the magnet! *Once upon a time there was a bunch of sad penguins *They were bored because everything was boring *He built an enormous underground drill *And he drilled a bunch of super sweet tunnels *Everyone was happy! *But a group of grumpy agents came along *And they didn't want ANYone to have fun *So they broke the polar bear's drill *and almost wrecked the island's precious boiler! *Once upon a time *there was a cold island *And on that island was a poor cold polar bear *But the bear was also clever *So he made a thermal reversion laser *And it made one spot on the dreary island *As warm as the tropics! *He even let some penguins stay there *Which was pretty nice considering *How mean they had been *But some agents were angry *just because the bear was warm *So they blew up his laser! *And made the whole island lame *and boring again *There was a polar bear that drifted *to an island full of mean penguins *He wanted to be warm and safe *So he made a base far away from the penguins *And constructed a heater *But his foolish crab minion *Stole a coin-operated dial for the heater *So he came up with a brilliant plan *He would make the useless furballs *called puffles *dig up coins for him *So that he could be warm forever *Now the bear wants to be left alone! *GOT IT?! Category:Quotes of Mascots Category:Herbert P. Bear